Would you like to see my conic sections?
Mar. 28th, 2011 01:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thezI've been productive! I have a pre-interview test scheduled on Wednesday ("industrial fitness" test, including math tests and computer simulations and such) and a couple of other leads that I won't have to follow up on if I do well on said test. We'll see.
Yesterday I saw a play downtown that combined my three favorite things: ladies, math, and FREE. It was called Yes We Did by your friend and mine Jeni D, overviewing the lives of such female mathematicians and scientists as Sophie Germain and my dead Greek girlfriend Hypatia. It was ALGEBRAIC!
Today we saw Rango, a much better film than the horrible trailers make it out to be. Basic hero's journey plot but done in a fun way, AWESOME atmosphere, and the CGI was used to its fullest effect. Basically a wonderful homage to Westerns. It made me a bit sad because it touched on over-development in the desert, and a bit homesick as well, because though it's set in the Mojave Desert they did use Monument Valley and Montezuma's Castle as the background in a few scenes. I'd love to see it again some time.
O HAY FIC. Took care ofambientfiligree's request: I WOULD LIKE FIC. Kingdom/Oglaf AU, casting choices are all yours. <3. I actually just stole her casting choices!
Ingrid: did Sage tell you we have an Oglaf AU for Kingdom going
Z: NO >:(
Z: I must be informed of these things the very second they happen.
Ingrid: ROFL
Ingrid: I THINK let me try to remember
Ingrid: Raquel is the Sorceress
Z: I <3 the sorceress.
Z: WHO IS SANDOVAL
Ingrid: WALKER
Z: YESS "I have crossed oceans of beef to be with you."
Ingrid: Paris, Val and Ari are her assistants
Z: They don't have the boobage for that though! I guess that's why it's AU.
Ingrid: LOL no, the one who Sandoval poisons, that assistant
Ingrid: we multiplied them because we couldn't choose
Z: OH, you mean the apprentice? XD
Ingrid: ... yes!
Ingrid: hurr
Ingrid: JANE AND LONI
Z: YESSSS o/*\o
So basically I squeezed in everyone except El Combito because I am not k-rad enough to pull off the charisma and mystery and romance that is El Combito as Kronar. hoooooman I wanted to add even more characters but I restrained myself. I was slightly less concerned with Val's characterization in this one because he's such a great kicking puppy. LIKE IVAN!
(one of these lines was stolen fromnanners lol sorry Bri)
"Apprentice!"
The voice of the Sorceress rang clear and loud down the halls of the castle, reverberating down through the deepest dungeons. It had taken 60 interior designers and 59 executions to get the acoustics just right.
"Here, Mistress." The words sounded more like a promise than an answer. Paris sauntered into the throne room, wearing the same self-satisfied smirk he always wore. Sorceress Raquel had spent countless evenings testing that smirk, but it never wavered, at least not in her presence. It was, as far as she was concerned, his most valuable asset.
She mirrored his expression for a moment, then called out, "Other Apprentice!"
Rapid footfalls sounded off the walls of the corridor as Val came running, slowing suddenly as he approached the throne. He lifted his hat for a moment to brush his hair back and tried not to look too winded. "Here, Mistress!"
Raquel gazed at him with half-lidded eyes. "So quick to come running when your mistress calls you," she said in a voice that was half commendation, half contempt. The boy's feathers were so easily ruffled, but on some days that was an asset as well. "Other Other Apprentice!"
The call echoed and faded, and there was no response. She turned her head the barest millimeter towards the assistant at her left. "You, where is Other Other Apprentice?"
The masked figure stood up a little straighter. "Mistress, I believe he is--"
"Oh never mind, we don't need him for this anyway." Raquel smiled at her boys and raised a hand to her cheek, idly stroking the side of her headdress. "In fact, this is something only Other Apprentice can do."
Val tried to keep his face neutral, but couldn't resist glancing over at Paris to see if the words had wiped that insufferable grin off his face. No such luck. He pressed his lips into a thin line, then quickly bowed and lowered his head. "What do you ask of me, Mistress?"
Would she ask him to decorate for the next masquerade? He did know where to hire the most flexible acrobats. Deliver an important missive? He was fast and dependable. Maybe even perform some actual magic? Finally?
One of her assistants approached the throne with a leash and bent over what Val had thought was a pile of smoldering flesh and bone (he'd gotten used to the sight around the castle). He noticed a collar for the first time as she attached a leash and handed the other end of it to Raquel, which she in turn held out to Val. "I need you to walk Poopsie. He gets so restless sitting here by the throne all day."
A long, toothy skull rose from the pile of bones and turned to face Val, apparently growling. He stared back for a moment, wondering if maybe he shouldn't be making eye contact (all it had were two empty sockets; he couldn't even tell if he was making eye contact) before he jumped up and started flailing his arms. "But that thing--! I don't--! What is--? How is this something only I can do?" he finally asked, openly glaring at Paris.
Raquel shook the end of the leash at him, completely unmoved by his outburst. "Poopsie is very finicky about who he'll allow to lead him - only blind prophets, men not born of women, honest politicians, and..." She paused, flashing her teeth in a broad, predatory smile. "...virgins."
"V-vir--" Val's face slowly drained of all color. The snickering of the assistants on either side of the throne seemed unbearably loud. He felt a sudden, overwhelming need to speak to Princess Loni, but he couldn't find enough kindling for a signal fire, his magic mirror had been confiscated, and his carrier pigeons always dropped dead as soon as they flew over the moat.
Instead he fixed his face into the angriest teenage boy pout he could muster, snatched the end of the leash from Raquel, and went stalking out of the room. The bag of bones gave a surprised "yipe!" and tried to keep up.
Raquel, still smiling, leaned back in her throne and sighed in satisfaction. "You know what I'm in the mood for now?"
MEANWHILE...
Princess Loni had caught the sound of crying on the wind and followed it to the forest, through the trees, and down the path to the well. Someone in her kingdom was unhappy! Such a thing could not be borne. She found the source of the sound next to the well, wearing a low, low, far-too-low-cut corset. "Why do you weep, naked stranger?"
"L-loni?"
"Jane??"
The naked stranger lifted her face from her hands and stared up at Loni. It was indeed Jane, minus her glasses and with streaks of mascara running down her face. "Oh Loni, it's awful! One of my classmates turned me into a slut!" She sniffled. "I can't be a slut! I'm not popular enough to be a slut!"
"Oh Jane!" Loni knelt down beside her friend and laid a hand on her bare shoulder. "Your classmate sounds like a real witch." Suddenly a dangerous expression crossed Loni's face: she had an idea. "Jane, of course! If she is a witch, that means I can cure you with a kiss! It's in my contract as Princess of Sunset City!"
"A k-kiss?" Jane glanced around the clearing uncertainly. "Is it safe?"
"Of course, silly! Just hold still." Loni held Jane's shoulders and leaned in, careful not to brush anything but her lips against the other girl. She got close enough to give Jane a quick peck and pulled away, watching. Jane stared back at her with darkly-lined eyes.
"Did it work?" asked Jane.
"No, but, maybe that was too quick!" Loni answered brightly. "Let me try again!" She leaned in once more and pressed her lips to Jane's, a little more firmly this time, and counted. Five seconds ought to be enough, right? Should she open her mouth? She probably didn't need to open her mouth.
She pulled away a little more slowly this time and watched hopefully, but Jane remained just as scantily clad as before. "Oh, darn it! I don't understand why this isn't working!"
"Maybe- maybe you should try second base," Jane suggested, somehow the very picture of innocence despite her wardrobe malfunction.
"Maybe!" chirped Loni, eager and agreeable. She slid her hands down to cup Jane's breasts and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, but since they're just sticking out like that I thought I should get right to it! Now hold still while I try some tongue magic..."
MEANWHILE...
"And when Hansel and Gretel made it to the gingerbread house, they opened the door to find the witch splayed out on the kitchen table, her dress hanging-- okay I'm pretty sure that's not how the story goes," said Ari, thumbing through the pages of his book as the succubi hung listlessly from their restraints.
"Heeeey, I know this book!" said Walker, pausing his massage of the other other assistant's shoulders to lean over and flip through the pages. "Let me show you my favorite story. It's illustrated."
Ari tilted his head and studied the illustration. "I'm really starting to think that I grabbed the wrong book, but Mistress Raquel has so many books in her library and most of them have 'Forbidden' on the cover and I thought this one would just be a regular book..."
One of the succubi yawned, while the other let her head loll forward.
"Well I guess I can just read the beginning of each story and stop when things start getting too graphic, that ought to work." He glanced up at the Xoan ambassador. "You don't have to do that you know."
"Oh c'mon, you're working so hard! You've earned this massage!"
"I don't think that just sitting and reading from a book really qualifies asWHAT ARE YOU DOING??"
"It's a sensual massage!"
The succubi were growing steadily more alert when their entertainment was interrupted by barking and the sound of scampering down the corridor. Suddenly the Sorceress' undead pet burst through the door, chased by Val. "Bad Poopsie! Halt! Heel! Sit!"
The beast ceased running and began sniffing around the nooks and corners of the chamber, giving Val a chance to catch his breath. He was a little surprised to find Ari perched in a chair near the succubi (and slightly less surprised to find the ambassador there as well). "Ari, why are you down here?" he asked, still trying to catch his breath.
"Mistress Raquel sent me down here to 'entertain'," he mimicked the air quotes that she had used, "the succubi so I've been reading to them for a while because I'm not sure how long she wanted me to keep this up. I see you get to walk Poopsie though, that's pretty great."
"Yeah, great," said Val sarcastically. "You know the mistress-"
He was interrupted by Poopsie who came bounding up to him, something clenched in its jaw. It dropped the object at Val's feet and wagged its approximation of a tail. Val leaned over to inspect the gift, unwilling to actually touch anything the creature had carried in its mouth. It was long, thick, dark, and...
Val started giggling in sadistic glee.
"It's a nice dick, but it's not that nice," said Walker. "I don't know what you're getting so excited about."
"It's Paris'!" shouted Val, and he immediately regretted his outburst. "IT'S NOT WEIRD THAT I KNOW THAT. IT'S JUST, I-- whatever, the point is that this means that he and Mistress Raquel aren't actually--!"
He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, delicately rolled up the organ, and took hold of Poopsie's leash. "C'mon Poopsie!" he shouted, leading the beast back into the corridor.
"Are you going to return that?" Ari called after him.
"I'M GOING TO THROW IT IN THE MOAT."
MEANWHILE...
Raquel laid back on her bed, watching with amusement as Paris' face cycled through the most complex, exquisite contortions. "Well? Where is it?"
"It's suddenly cold and wet and-- ow. OW. OWOWOWOWOWOW FUCK WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
She'd finally managed to wipe that smirk off his face after all.
Yesterday I saw a play downtown that combined my three favorite things: ladies, math, and FREE. It was called Yes We Did by your friend and mine Jeni D, overviewing the lives of such female mathematicians and scientists as Sophie Germain and my dead Greek girlfriend Hypatia. It was ALGEBRAIC!
Today we saw Rango, a much better film than the horrible trailers make it out to be. Basic hero's journey plot but done in a fun way, AWESOME atmosphere, and the CGI was used to its fullest effect. Basically a wonderful homage to Westerns. It made me a bit sad because it touched on over-development in the desert, and a bit homesick as well, because though it's set in the Mojave Desert they did use Monument Valley and Montezuma's Castle as the background in a few scenes. I'd love to see it again some time.
O HAY FIC. Took care of
ambientfiligree's request: I WOULD LIKE FIC. Kingdom/Oglaf AU, casting choices are all yours. <3. I actually just stole her casting choices!Ingrid: did Sage tell you we have an Oglaf AU for Kingdom going
Z: NO >:(
Z: I must be informed of these things the very second they happen.
Ingrid: ROFL
Ingrid: I THINK let me try to remember
Ingrid: Raquel is the Sorceress
Z: I <3 the sorceress.
Z: WHO IS SANDOVAL
Ingrid: WALKER
Z: YESS "I have crossed oceans of beef to be with you."
Ingrid: Paris, Val and Ari are her assistants
Z: They don't have the boobage for that though! I guess that's why it's AU.
Ingrid: LOL no, the one who Sandoval poisons, that assistant
Ingrid: we multiplied them because we couldn't choose
Z: OH, you mean the apprentice? XD
Ingrid: ... yes!
Ingrid: hurr
Ingrid: JANE AND LONI
Z: YESSSS o/*\o
So basically I squeezed in everyone except El Combito because I am not k-rad enough to pull off the charisma and mystery and romance that is El Combito as Kronar. hoooooman I wanted to add even more characters but I restrained myself. I was slightly less concerned with Val's characterization in this one because he's such a great kicking puppy. LIKE IVAN!
(one of these lines was stolen from
nanners lol sorry Bri)"Apprentice!"
The voice of the Sorceress rang clear and loud down the halls of the castle, reverberating down through the deepest dungeons. It had taken 60 interior designers and 59 executions to get the acoustics just right.
"Here, Mistress." The words sounded more like a promise than an answer. Paris sauntered into the throne room, wearing the same self-satisfied smirk he always wore. Sorceress Raquel had spent countless evenings testing that smirk, but it never wavered, at least not in her presence. It was, as far as she was concerned, his most valuable asset.
She mirrored his expression for a moment, then called out, "Other Apprentice!"
Rapid footfalls sounded off the walls of the corridor as Val came running, slowing suddenly as he approached the throne. He lifted his hat for a moment to brush his hair back and tried not to look too winded. "Here, Mistress!"
Raquel gazed at him with half-lidded eyes. "So quick to come running when your mistress calls you," she said in a voice that was half commendation, half contempt. The boy's feathers were so easily ruffled, but on some days that was an asset as well. "Other Other Apprentice!"
The call echoed and faded, and there was no response. She turned her head the barest millimeter towards the assistant at her left. "You, where is Other Other Apprentice?"
The masked figure stood up a little straighter. "Mistress, I believe he is--"
"Oh never mind, we don't need him for this anyway." Raquel smiled at her boys and raised a hand to her cheek, idly stroking the side of her headdress. "In fact, this is something only Other Apprentice can do."
Val tried to keep his face neutral, but couldn't resist glancing over at Paris to see if the words had wiped that insufferable grin off his face. No such luck. He pressed his lips into a thin line, then quickly bowed and lowered his head. "What do you ask of me, Mistress?"
Would she ask him to decorate for the next masquerade? He did know where to hire the most flexible acrobats. Deliver an important missive? He was fast and dependable. Maybe even perform some actual magic? Finally?
One of her assistants approached the throne with a leash and bent over what Val had thought was a pile of smoldering flesh and bone (he'd gotten used to the sight around the castle). He noticed a collar for the first time as she attached a leash and handed the other end of it to Raquel, which she in turn held out to Val. "I need you to walk Poopsie. He gets so restless sitting here by the throne all day."
A long, toothy skull rose from the pile of bones and turned to face Val, apparently growling. He stared back for a moment, wondering if maybe he shouldn't be making eye contact (all it had were two empty sockets; he couldn't even tell if he was making eye contact) before he jumped up and started flailing his arms. "But that thing--! I don't--! What is--? How is this something only I can do?" he finally asked, openly glaring at Paris.
Raquel shook the end of the leash at him, completely unmoved by his outburst. "Poopsie is very finicky about who he'll allow to lead him - only blind prophets, men not born of women, honest politicians, and..." She paused, flashing her teeth in a broad, predatory smile. "...virgins."
"V-vir--" Val's face slowly drained of all color. The snickering of the assistants on either side of the throne seemed unbearably loud. He felt a sudden, overwhelming need to speak to Princess Loni, but he couldn't find enough kindling for a signal fire, his magic mirror had been confiscated, and his carrier pigeons always dropped dead as soon as they flew over the moat.
Instead he fixed his face into the angriest teenage boy pout he could muster, snatched the end of the leash from Raquel, and went stalking out of the room. The bag of bones gave a surprised "yipe!" and tried to keep up.
Raquel, still smiling, leaned back in her throne and sighed in satisfaction. "You know what I'm in the mood for now?"
MEANWHILE...
Princess Loni had caught the sound of crying on the wind and followed it to the forest, through the trees, and down the path to the well. Someone in her kingdom was unhappy! Such a thing could not be borne. She found the source of the sound next to the well, wearing a low, low, far-too-low-cut corset. "Why do you weep, naked stranger?"
"L-loni?"
"Jane??"
The naked stranger lifted her face from her hands and stared up at Loni. It was indeed Jane, minus her glasses and with streaks of mascara running down her face. "Oh Loni, it's awful! One of my classmates turned me into a slut!" She sniffled. "I can't be a slut! I'm not popular enough to be a slut!"
"Oh Jane!" Loni knelt down beside her friend and laid a hand on her bare shoulder. "Your classmate sounds like a real witch." Suddenly a dangerous expression crossed Loni's face: she had an idea. "Jane, of course! If she is a witch, that means I can cure you with a kiss! It's in my contract as Princess of Sunset City!"
"A k-kiss?" Jane glanced around the clearing uncertainly. "Is it safe?"
"Of course, silly! Just hold still." Loni held Jane's shoulders and leaned in, careful not to brush anything but her lips against the other girl. She got close enough to give Jane a quick peck and pulled away, watching. Jane stared back at her with darkly-lined eyes.
"Did it work?" asked Jane.
"No, but, maybe that was too quick!" Loni answered brightly. "Let me try again!" She leaned in once more and pressed her lips to Jane's, a little more firmly this time, and counted. Five seconds ought to be enough, right? Should she open her mouth? She probably didn't need to open her mouth.
She pulled away a little more slowly this time and watched hopefully, but Jane remained just as scantily clad as before. "Oh, darn it! I don't understand why this isn't working!"
"Maybe- maybe you should try second base," Jane suggested, somehow the very picture of innocence despite her wardrobe malfunction.
"Maybe!" chirped Loni, eager and agreeable. She slid her hands down to cup Jane's breasts and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, but since they're just sticking out like that I thought I should get right to it! Now hold still while I try some tongue magic..."
MEANWHILE...
"And when Hansel and Gretel made it to the gingerbread house, they opened the door to find the witch splayed out on the kitchen table, her dress hanging-- okay I'm pretty sure that's not how the story goes," said Ari, thumbing through the pages of his book as the succubi hung listlessly from their restraints.
"Heeeey, I know this book!" said Walker, pausing his massage of the other other assistant's shoulders to lean over and flip through the pages. "Let me show you my favorite story. It's illustrated."
Ari tilted his head and studied the illustration. "I'm really starting to think that I grabbed the wrong book, but Mistress Raquel has so many books in her library and most of them have 'Forbidden' on the cover and I thought this one would just be a regular book..."
One of the succubi yawned, while the other let her head loll forward.
"Well I guess I can just read the beginning of each story and stop when things start getting too graphic, that ought to work." He glanced up at the Xoan ambassador. "You don't have to do that you know."
"Oh c'mon, you're working so hard! You've earned this massage!"
"I don't think that just sitting and reading from a book really qualifies asWHAT ARE YOU DOING??"
"It's a sensual massage!"
The succubi were growing steadily more alert when their entertainment was interrupted by barking and the sound of scampering down the corridor. Suddenly the Sorceress' undead pet burst through the door, chased by Val. "Bad Poopsie! Halt! Heel! Sit!"
The beast ceased running and began sniffing around the nooks and corners of the chamber, giving Val a chance to catch his breath. He was a little surprised to find Ari perched in a chair near the succubi (and slightly less surprised to find the ambassador there as well). "Ari, why are you down here?" he asked, still trying to catch his breath.
"Mistress Raquel sent me down here to 'entertain'," he mimicked the air quotes that she had used, "the succubi so I've been reading to them for a while because I'm not sure how long she wanted me to keep this up. I see you get to walk Poopsie though, that's pretty great."
"Yeah, great," said Val sarcastically. "You know the mistress-"
He was interrupted by Poopsie who came bounding up to him, something clenched in its jaw. It dropped the object at Val's feet and wagged its approximation of a tail. Val leaned over to inspect the gift, unwilling to actually touch anything the creature had carried in its mouth. It was long, thick, dark, and...
Val started giggling in sadistic glee.
"It's a nice dick, but it's not that nice," said Walker. "I don't know what you're getting so excited about."
"It's Paris'!" shouted Val, and he immediately regretted his outburst. "IT'S NOT WEIRD THAT I KNOW THAT. IT'S JUST, I-- whatever, the point is that this means that he and Mistress Raquel aren't actually--!"
He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, delicately rolled up the organ, and took hold of Poopsie's leash. "C'mon Poopsie!" he shouted, leading the beast back into the corridor.
"Are you going to return that?" Ari called after him.
"I'M GOING TO THROW IT IN THE MOAT."
MEANWHILE...
Raquel laid back on her bed, watching with amusement as Paris' face cycled through the most complex, exquisite contortions. "Well? Where is it?"
"It's suddenly cold and wet and-- ow. OW. OWOWOWOWOWOW FUCK WHAT'S HAPPENING?"
She'd finally managed to wipe that smirk off his face after all.