Bandolero by Day

Oops! It wasn't a bush I left my lizards under, it was a cactus. A prickly pear, precisely.

Just past one wash, then another wash, then at the trail head with the saguaro next to the nursery plant and a smooth sedimentary rock embedded in the middle of the trail just barely bigger than my ass (IT IS MY SITTING ROCK) you'll find the three amigos: a cholla, an ocotillo, and a prickly pear. That prickly pear is their cactus.

The desert is (vast? beautiful? awe-inspiring?) rad.

At that particular spot I'm pretty sure the wind is never still. When it blows through the saguaros it always sounds like an approaching car, and it never is, and that's when you realize you're about as alone as you can possibly get while still being withing walking distance of a paved road.

(Well, possibly you could be more alone in Wyoming for example, but, man, shut up Z you are ruining it.)


Thank you for the condolences re: my wee lizard. It made me think of something the wise philosopher Relia once said: "I think what we do, when we say things like this, is to want other people to find some way to love our lost loved one the same way we do. We want the world to know how deserving our loved one was, how wonderful and precious and valued. We try to make friends for them even after they're gone." I still think of that quote every time the subject of death comes up.

Man, since Rel skipped Internet Town I can praise her all I want here and she'll never know. RELIA IS A MASTER OF WORDS AND SHE SMELLS LIKE MAGIC SHAMPOO MARKETED SPECIFICALLY TO UNICORNS. NEW JERSEY IS THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. I WILL GIVE RELIA 1/10 OF ALL MY EARNINGS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. TRA LA LA!


Okay, I think the best way to end this post is with baby bearded dragons, because CIRCLE OF LIFE.

Not JUST because night1791 requested it.

I am taking a headache-break from washing the tupperware that my parents gave me, and doing other very important things like switching around the salt and pepper shakers so as to fuck with whatever guests I have over to the Hermit Cave.

The only guests I'm likely to have to the Hermit Cave all read this, so I think I just defeated my own plan, but still. V important doings.

SCHOOL

I am STILL taking general credits. Why does it never end? Why can't I go to school in Europe where they don't have to deal with this shit?

Positive side of this: I'm taking a class called "Eroticism and Love in the Middle Ages". Meej might be disappointed, because I told her it was "Eroticism in 19th Century Literature". It was the only class left open, and my mind just remembered "eroticism" and "old-timey".

This is positive because we will be studying erotic Christian writings, which makes me giggle because it sounds like the precursor to Bible slash.

HOME

I never mentioned that my coworkers got me a living, feathered going-away present: a cockatiel. On the one hand, I'm not sure of the wisdom of giving living creatures as gifts, especially since they require time and money and those are two things that someone living on their own for the first time is unlikely to have. On the other hand, they DID put a lot of thought into the gift and it means a lot to me. Besides, I've grown attached to the bird.

His name is Charm, short for Charm Quark. I suspect he has cockatiel autism, as he's still afraid of hands but has figured out how to fill his own water dish.

So my studio apartment includes: me, Charm, and the lizard twins Genbu and Seiryuu.

WORK

I've given myself until September 23rd to find a really good job. If I don't have one by then, I'll just reapply at Starbucks. Because it could be so much worse than Starbucks.

OTHER

I need to make some friends in Tucson so that there's someone to go see What Laura with me on October 19th. Also awesome: Kittie is playing at the warehouse one block away from my apartment on September 7th. Not awesome: that place is full of college students. I hate college students that aren't me. This might put a damper on the friend-making plan. How do I stop being so curmudgeonly?

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: destripar, to disembowel

My lizard's tail exploded. No, really.

This is a relatively recent development. First, FIRST, he lost three toes on his right hind leg. The flesh had simply died. It took me a few days to realize that part of his foot was a blackened stump because Seiryuu (that's the lizard's name) often displays what I've dubbed "beach foot" from splashing around in his water dish and then running through his sand-like substrate. Therefore, the foot looked perfectly normal until it started to swell, at which point I rinsed it off to discover freaky dead flesh.

Naturally, I took him to the vet. I had no idea what had happened to the foot. The vet had no idea either. He just amputated Seiryuu's three middle toes while I held Squirmy McGee still and gave me antibiotics to be administered by injection into the tail daily. My first thought was, "Oh shit, give him injections? Am I going to have to search for lizard veins or something?" but, as it turns out, it's a simple "poke and inject" affair. "Call me if his tail exhibits any signs of irritation," said the vet. "Can do!" I replied.

I had been treating him with the antibiotics for only two days when I noticed that his tail was beginning to swell. The next day I skipped the injection and called the doc. The day after THAT, he was back into the vet's, but at that point the swelling was already going down and the vet decided that the shots were not causing enough irritation to warrant halting the treatment. I said "Okay" and gave Seiryuu another shot when I got home, then left for work. At nine o'clock that night, my sister called me at work (which is bizarre in and of itself) to tell me that there was flesh hanging off his tail. I got off the phone, worked at hyper-speed the next thirty minutes, and then left work a half an hour early.

His tail had, in fact, burst open at the tip. Being that he had a stub tail in the first place from an old injury as a hatchling, that was a pretty good-sized tip and a good lot of flesh. I decided to take him to the 24 hour emergency animal clinic some 11 miles away. My mother insisted that my father go with me, being that it was late. I said it wasn't necessary. He came along anyway. He also drove. Fuck.

Miraculously, we all survived the trip. We entered the clinic, and my father complained loudly about all the charges to the nurses while I filled out the paperwork, which was very helpful and ended up saving me a lot of money (this is where the sarcasm is). I finally got in to see the vet, and he suggested something that I never would have considered in a million years: the digit AND tail injuries were due to a lack of skin hydration. Seiryuu is a bearded dragon, a species that is naturally occurring in some Australian desert that I can't name right now. As long as I kept his insides hydrated (and I do, most evidently), I'd never stop to think about the outside. However, after the vet gave me the full explanation (which I won't go into here), I realized how much sense it made.

At that point, I left Seiryuu in the vet's care so he could prep him for tiny lizard surgery and amputate the, uh, exploded part of the tail. Seiryuu would stay overnight and I'd fetch him in the morning. I left the clinic, got home at one a.m., and had been sleeping for about two and a half hours when the vet called to tell me that the surgery had gone smoothly. I was so exhausted that I had slept through the phone ringing, and had to be woken up by my mother the insomniac. I tried to sound grateful to all parties, but probably wound up talking about bananas in slurred speech or something. I really can't remember.

Six hours later I regained consciousness again and went to get Seiryuu from the clinic. The poor guy was still groggy from the anesthesia and from blood loss during the surgery, so I put a soft dishcloth bed in his terrarium and he slept there the rest of the day. He seems fine now. Let's hope he stays that way. His appetite has been consistently normal throughout this whole ordeal, and that's a good sign.

In order to KEEP him in good shape, I've started giving him and his buddy Genbu (another bearded dragon, possibly from the same clutch of eggs) baths, which they enjoy immensely for the first minute and then get bored of very quickly.

I'm afraid to look at my credit card statement right now.


And those were the FUN bits of the past week, "fun" here meaning "horrible, but could be worse."

Stupid painful annoying crazy itchy shaky irritating twitchy dizzy life. I want to kick things. Conspiracies against me abound, except not, and that just makes things even more annoying.

Hakkai is in ur base, killin ur d00ds. Oh goodness, there's something wrong with me.


BEHOLD, Betty's secret identity! Props to rotsman, King of Mecha. Actually, he's not a HUGE mecha fan as far as I know, but it's a cool-sounding title.


I purchased a cup of super worms at PetsMart just a couple of hours ago, and it's making strange noises. Perhaps it's time I feed them to the lizards. I'd hate for them to evolve sentience and tiny weapons just because I left them in the plastic container too long.


Work was not nearly as horrible as I expected it to be. As it turns out, the actual ice cream social did not start until long after my shift was over. There were very few short bus customers, and one woman even gave me a bracelet after I rang up her order, JUST FOR BEING SO DAMN COOL. It is made of tiny wooden beads, and I shall henceforth wear it as evidence of my awesomeness.

Now I must putter around the house and enjoy my TIME OFF OF WORK. I will celebrate it by NOT WORKING. Except that I will be doing some work. HOWEVER, IT WILL NOT BE COFFEE WORK.

In NEWS OF THE AWESOME, I have this weekend off, as in Saturday AND Sunday. Well, my goodness. That's super. I am thinking of using this weekend for a road trip. Well, a miniature road trip, but a road trip nonetheless. I have been neglecting the roads, and they're starting to get all dusty and not-driven-on.

In NEWS OF THE HUH? I ran into Sarah Davis at Whataburger. mko, shinikius, and sakibombshell, help. I know she went to Goldwater, and I vaguely remember her, but she's not in the '01 yearbook. Was she a year ahead of us, or did she drop out, or was I simply crackfed at the time and had the misfortune of running into another person on crack? Do tell!

In NEWS OF THE SUCK, there's school. It sucks.

In NEWS OF THE FANGIRL, I now have episodes 1-16 of Saiyuki Reload on my computer. This makes me very happy because it is FREE. Surely Bit Torrent was created because some god had mercy on my poor (and especially monetarily poor) soul, because I can scarcely afford a trip to the movies and yet SUCH ANIME DO I HAVE. Goku monkey cuteness: check. Sanzo, uh, shooting things: check. Gojyo's endless quest for sex bitches: check. Hakkai being awesome by virtue of his just being there at all: check. ALSO FREE.

In NEWS OF THE FRIGHTENING, my kingdom for decent Gyokumen Koushu/Dr. Huang fan work of some type. No, seriously.

In NEWS OF THE STUPID, why does my cat insist on sleeping directly behind the computer chair, so that he's crushed whenever I push away from the desk? Okay, that's not really news, it's a question. A VALID question.