thez: Ari IS Inspector Spacetime! Somewhen. (Emote ~ death scores)
WILL YE SIGN THESE ARTICLES, OR WILL YE CAREEN THE BRIGANTINE WHILE SHE'S STILL SAILING UP THE RIVER??

I. Every man has a vote in affairs of the moment; has equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure, unless a scarcity makes it necessary, for the good of all, to vote a retrenchment.

II. Every man to be called fairly in turn, by list, on board of prizes because, (over and above their proper share) they were on these occasions allowed a shift of clothes: but if they defrauded the company to the value of a dollar in plate, jewels, or money, marooning was their punishment. If the robbery was only betwixt one another, they contented themselves with slitting the ears and nose of him that was guilty, and set him on shore, not in an uninhabited place, but somewhere, where he was sure to encounter hardships.

III. No person to game at cards or dice for money.

IV. The lights and candles to be put out at eight o'clock at night: if any of the crew, after that hour still remained inclined for drinking, they were to do it on the open deck.

V. To keep their piece, pistols, and cutlass clean and fit for service.

VI. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man were to be found seducing any of the latter sex, and carried her to sea, disguised, he was to suffer death.

VII. To desert the ship of their quarters in battle, was punished with death or marooning.

VIII. No striking one another on board, but every man's quarrels to be ended on shore, at sword and pistol.

IX. No man to talk of breaking up their way of living, till each had shared £1000. If in order to this, any man should lose a limb, or become a cripple in their service, he was to have 800 dollars, out of the public stock, and for lesser hurts, proportionately.

X. The captain and quartermaster to receive two shares of a prize: the master, boatswain, and gunner, one share and a half, and other officers one and a quarter.

XI. The musicians to have rest on the Sabbath Day, but the other six days and nights, none without special favour.


BLACK BART RESPECTS THE SABBATH DAY. Ye scurvy dogs. Rx1MILLION.
thez: Ari IS Inspector Spacetime! Somewhen. (LotR ~ for the shire)
So I went to the doctor's office yesterday, and it turned out better than I expected. I've been getting inexplicable dizzy spells lately, particularly when I've been sitting for long periods of time, and apparently the culprit is low blood pressure. I've suspected such for a long time, as more than once I've been into, say, the OB/GYN and had my blood pressure read with a response along the lines of "Did you just wake up?"

Aside from the occasional dizziness (in which the heat probably also factors, as well as being Ichabod Crane tall and thin, and fainting is unlikely at any rate), he tells me that this is actually a good thing, because it means that there is less wear and tear on my circulatory system which will therefore be in better shape as I age. Considering the fact that strokes and hypertension and such run in my family, I'd say I rather lucked out there. It's nice that genetics didn't get me on this at least.

He wants me to start drinking something with electrolytes like Gatorade or Powerade, though. Not the most appealing thought in the world, but I guess I could give it a shot. If anyone knows of any better-tasting electrolyte-enhanced drink-type things, however, I'd love it if you'd let me know.

Besides that, it was nice to see my doctor again. I've been going to him since I was six years old, and he (and his office) haven't changed a bit. They look like they got stuck in the 70's and just stopped there, aside from the occasional wrinkle or bit of gray. If he ever gets rid of his bowl cut, I will be very upset.


Oh, and while I was sitting in the waiting room, one of his other patients was leaving and I figured that he wasn't from the U.S. by his use of the word "chemist". He's from South Africa as it turns out, which I never would have guessed as he has almost no accent left, but it caused me to wonder: is the word "chemist" used as opposed to "pharmacist" in Canada? I'm curious as to whether "pharmacist" is a North American thing or strictly a U.S. thing.

edit: Apparently my dad has low blood pressure. Oh. I did not know that. Dad: "So you got my low blood pressure AND my brains." / Z: "Yay!"
thez: Ari IS Inspector Spacetime! Somewhen. (SEXY PEZ - by atkascha)
Straining during bowel movements can cause hemorrhoids, so stay regular and eat lots of fiber!

This public service announcement is brought to you by "fuck if I know." I guess I'm just trying to express the fact that I care about your collective asses. HYUK HYUK!
thez: Ari IS Inspector Spacetime! Somewhen. (Default)
I was looking for this before, because the Nomie question made me think of it, and I COULDN'T FIND IT! And then I did. Such joy. Anyway, it's from alt.culture by Steven Daly and Nathaniel Wice.


Queer Ken Released by Mattel in 1993 under the product name Earring Magic Ken, this doll featured Barbie's traditionally square-jawed beau in a more '90s outfit: lavender mesh top and vest, two-tone frosted blond hair, and a small silver ring on a chocker. What Mattel apparently didn't realize is that the ring Ken appropriates is actually a to-scale cock ring, which some groups of gay rave-goers had taken to wearing around their necks. Mattel denied that they intended the look as All-American Ken's coming out, but in the summer of '93 Earring Magic Ken became an instant artifact of gay kitsch and, consequently, the best-selling Ken doll ever.


I haven't verified any of that beyond the passage in the book, but still, comic gold.

(╯°□°)╯︵ <3

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