Bandolero by Day

A brief review of the Joy of Baltimore with neherenia, shortcakegreen, and demonlet. Guest appearances by capuu and irksnapple.

◊ We're all super-best friends with Peter S. Beagle now. Laris has a photograph proving it. He has a plan in the works for a novel about Bela Lugosi, Boris Karlov, and Lon Chaney, and if/when it is written it will surely be THE GREATEST BOOK OF ALL TIME.

◊ No matter where in Baltimore you may roam, the con-goers are usually easy to identify by their long beards or their propensity for opening automatic doors with their magic.

◊ I got a lot of "nice boots" comments, which could easily have been mistaken for "nice boobs" if I were not a AA cup bra-forsaker.

◊ So Otakon has a choice of 16 different badges from different anime series, and the only one I recognized this year was Chun Li, which clearly means that I am Out of the Loop re: anime.

◊ The only new anime I've seen this year is Romeo x Juliet. I was expecting it to be pretty popular at the con, but I saw NO cosplayers and NO merchandise. Maybe I need to give it another year? Then again, Gankutsuou never developed a big following, either.

◊ Sleeping next to Angie makes me dream of secret midget cabals, but also Optimus Prime.

◊ I hear tell that my snoring is delicate and feminine.

◊ Laris got a picture of me with the Purple Tentacle dude. I said to him, "Okay, we can be fighting or we can be making out." It's practically a rhetorical question. Then I told him to kick it up a notch and discovered that it is very difficult to grope a dude in a foam Purple Tentacle costume, BUT I TRIED, MAN.

◊ Laris is the first person I've ever found who shares my "MEAT ONLY" pizza topping policy. She can also quote Napoleon Dynamite without shame. Bless her.

◊ RELIA IS MY FABULOUS SCIENCE TWIN. Someday we will have slumber parties in the Kitt Peak observatory and stay up studying cosmic expansion and braiding each other's hair.

◊ Relia and Laris harmonize really well when they're singing "Enormous Penis". I add tone-deaf-ness and snapping. Sadly, none of us can whistle a tune.

◊ Buy some land, fuck spinning rims.

◊ Picking up the last Harry Potter book and then walking out to discover a guy holding a poopom = joy overload. IT WAS TINY AND ADORABLE.

◊ Someone put a shiny power-up on the side of one of the skyscrapers, but we couldn't reach it because we didn't have our boomerangs equipped.

◊ Irk: "We just 'shipped the ketchup." It's beautiful enough without the context.

◊ People who hate cheese fries hate America.

◊ What is up with the Cheesecake Factory? 55-75 minute wait? Fuck that! I actually went up to the guy and said 45 MINUTE WAIT, except I forgot that doesn't work so well if you don't also slip him a $20.

◊ I forgot a lot of things this weekend. I was pretty confused and heavy with the gobbledygook the whole time. It was a schizophrenic weekend.

◊ Z is the person to call if you want a confrontation to happen. I'm good for yelling at noisy neighbors (politely) and asking Sailor Mary Sue who she's dressed up as. (answer: Sailor Astera, which I would link except I found TWO! a mystery!)

◊ I am become Ctrl+Z, undoer of worlds.

◊ Baltimore still has more trees and water than Phoenix. It's neat.

◊ I skipped both Seki Tomokazu panels because I wanted to hang out with my friends instead. What the hell is that all about?

◊ We DID watch some anime at this anime convention: Little Norse Prince, a Miyazaki film that is "pleasant and cheerful" for "good children everywhere". It certainly had more people singing and dancing in circles than I've seen in any other show or movie, ever. There was also Shakugan no Shana, which look pretty cute, but since I can't understand spoken Japanese well enough to pick up more than the basics, and since some dude's fat head was in the way of the subtitles, I didn't get much else out of the show.

◊ Laris introduced me to the joy of monokuro-boo pigs. Sometimes they are kissing, sometimes one goes into anaphylactic shock. I love saying "anaphylactic" so much, you have no idea. To celebrate this discovery, I bought a bentou box with them on it. (Metatron is the white pig. Zeruel is the black pig.) Also in the vein of cute is a wee tiny magnetic plush gomagoma mamegoma whom I have named "Mr. Brimbles".

◊ They see me rollin'. They hatin'.

◊ Peter S. Beagle and I flew on the same plane back to Phoenix. Our friendship is THAT AWESOME.

◊ Relia, Angie, and Laris are all anti-Z's-heart-exploding. They are good friends.

That wasn't very brief.

Why is it that whenever I get a day off, my internet goes out? Only to return once I'm about to go to work?

SOMEONE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE... but to what end??


Well, at any rate, my aunt is visiting. She has a Relia nose. I love Relia's nose. That sounds so very odd. (Hello, Relia. I am talking about your nose.)

Ah, The Brak Show. You do me good, baby.

Anyhoo, three finals down, one to go. The two geology finals were a breeze, but I didn't do so well on the anthropology final. No, not at all.

If ever there was a time for me to throw myself down a stairwell, that time is now.

On the bright side, the final doesn't actually count for a large percentage of my overall grade, and before the final I had either an A or a high B. Hopefully the final won't bring me down to a C. Oh dear smite-y gods I hope not.

Where's that stairwell now?

Finals are also a bitch to take when you're getting up to blow your nose every five minutes, and your lungs are burning with hell fire.

So, took two finals and then went to do hard labor work for six and a half hours at the hell hole. After that I met up with Zach and Mike for a leisurely midnight dinner at QuikTrip. Their fountains are the SHIZNIT, man. They have cherry and vanilla flavor add ins for the fountain drinks. mko, if you want your vanilla Pepsi, QuikTrip is the place to get it. :D

We sat outside by Mike's car and ate strange convenience store microwavables while Mike read aloud from his George Carlin book for an hour. Good times. I told them of Santa-Satan, as theorized by neherenia and myself. They, of course, wondered why they hadn't seen it sooner.

What is this Santa-Satan I speak of?

Z: I am a minion of... ZATAN!
Relia: Rearrange the letters a little bit and you get.......ZANTA!
Z: ::plotzes:: Dear smitey gods, I think you may have just uncovered the greatest conspiracy of our time!
Relia: GOD I'm good.
Z: I'm afraid. I don't want Satan-Santa coming down my chimney.
Relia: All in RED, you know.
Z: ...and the hat: it hides the horns.
Z: ...and Rudolph's nose glows red with HELL-FIRE!
Relia: And that round old belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of FIERY HOT LAVA, OH GOD, MY FACE!!! IT BUUUUUURNS!
Z: Eeek! ::douses the Reloo with soothing Holy Water and Aloe Vera::
Relia: That whole "what do you want for christmas" with the making the list and checking it twice, that's so he can get you for GREED.
Relia: And he gives lumps of COAL? Coincidence? I think NOT. You're going to BURN IN HELL.
Z: I was just gonna say that. XDXD
Relia: GOD, we're brilliant.
Z: Why has no one seen this before?? We must alert the world to the danger!
Z: I agree. Brilliant like sword-chucks!
Relia: EXACTLY.

NOW: sleep, sleep, sleep, midnight showing of The Two Towers, study for a few hours, history final at 8am, go see The Two Towers again with different people at 10am. I think my head is going to explode.