You need not give me a penny for my thoughts...

[thez]

...for I thrust them upon you freely, and without mercy! My thoughts must actually be very distracting, as I see no other explanation for my tendency to cease all activity and float in head-space for as long as I do. It happened today in fact: a 30 minute space-out. What is it that locks me in these trances o' stupid?

We'll start, for example, with Buddha. Why's he so fat? Jesus walked everywhere, and he wasn't fat. Didn't Buddha ever walk anywhere? And aren't Buddhists supposed to be vegetarians? Or is that only Hindus? How can you get so fat on a vegetarian diet? THEN SUDDENLY, a shift: monkeys. Monkeys are cool. Also cool would be the formation of a state, a state created by cutting off a chunk of Montana. It's not like they're using it for anything. It would be right next to Idaho, and it would be called "Idapimp." Two great tastes that taste great together. Also, peanut butter. Then jungles. Then kanji. Then thinking that I can write only about 200 in an hour. Sadness. Then thinking that I'm better off than Usagi at least. Then realizing that she's a fictional character, it doesn't count. You know what else? Pez. And Maracas. HOLY SHIT. MARACAS FILLED WITH PEZ. But would this be good or bad? What's the point of Pez you can never eat? Maybe you could open the maracas and eat the Pez, but wouldn't it be crushed to powder by the maraca-action? And you know, if I had a wish, I might wish for an entire room full of Pac Man arcade games. What if I DID have a room full of Pac Man arcade games, though? What if I beat them all? What if I beat a game with the highest score possible, so high that the game blew up? Would that be sort of like gamer Nirvana?

Then suddenly, we're back to Buddha.

Maybe he had a glandular problem...

Comments

[erythros.livejournal.com]

OOOOH, I actually know this, I think -

SEE, the Buddha was all, "I'm going to walk everywhere and train myself to live on one grain of rice per day because that will keep me enlightened or something because this world is DROSS, and that goes for food, also, food is like boring" - like Kenrou, only not - "but now that I'm in my THIIIIIIIIRTIES I'm beginning to wonder if the dross of this world really matters that much, so I'll start eating again, and look, I've gained weight now, and now I'm a fat Buddha because I've begun eating so much and now I am dying because I ate some really spicy spareribs and it irritated the lining of my throat so much that I am choking."

And then he was a dead fat Buddha.

Ultra-super-condensed, JUST FOR Z.

Maracas filled with Pez that you can never eat would give an extra tantalizing edge to the MAMBO.

t¬

[thez.livejournal.com]

MEEJ, you are awesome. I didn't know your religious knowledge base covered both east and west. Screw religion classes, I'm just going to go to your house and listen to you speak for a couple of hours. Bear in mind that I expect ALL your lectures to be hilariously condensed.

Also trying to avoid a mental image of a Buddha-fat Kenrou.