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thezNothing good ever begins with that sentence, does it?
I told Alysa the other night that I keep all my junk out in the open. It's a very easy thing to do, because I have very little junk. I don't have a problem with any of you. If I did, you'd know it. At least, I don't have specific problems. Let's inch our way into a wider, more general area now.
Whenever these little breakups occur, I always find myself on neutral ground, in the corner, way, WAY over there in the corner without a clue as to what's really going on. I once made the analogy to Tanya that I feel like I'm sitting on a surfboard on a choppy ocean without a clue as to what's happening just below the waves. She said I was lucky to be on that surfboard, and perhaps she's correct, but that doesn't make it ANY LESS FRUSTRATING.
I do not like this clockwork cycle of friends turning against friends. It's happened several times before, and if experience is any indicator, it will HAPPEN AGAIN. I don't want it to happen again. These things piss me off. Perhaps I don't have any right to feel this way, being uninvolved as I am, but when I find a group of very good friends slowly dissolving into two groups that just so happen to hate each other, there's not really room for any other sort of emotion.
The only clue I have as to why these things happen, the only thing I have to go on, is hearsay: stories and information from both parties on what happened and who said what and why. I'm always eager to hear about this, because I want to understand what happened, and yet my reaction is always the same. I think Irk is the only person I've ever felt comfortable sharing this reaction with, but it's time to get it out there. As I've said to Irk, now I say unto all of you...
YOU ARE ALL INSANE. YOU ARE CRAZY AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON OR WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING DESPITE PEOPLE TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME TIME AND AGAIN AND SO I RULE THAT YOU ARE ALL INSANE.
This frustrates me and saddens me because, believe it or not, I care.
I feel much better for having said this, because it's hard to just stand quietly by time after time. It bubbles up whenever these fights occur, but at the end of the day I just let it go, because at the end of the day you are all still my friends, even if you're not friends with each other. That's why I don't just throw up my hands and leave at the end. I'd miss this place too much.
This, uh, metaphorical place where all my friends are, even if I don't talk to them as much as I should. Shit. I don't think that's a very good way to end a rant. I'm sort of confused now. Umm...
Pez.
I told Alysa the other night that I keep all my junk out in the open. It's a very easy thing to do, because I have very little junk. I don't have a problem with any of you. If I did, you'd know it. At least, I don't have specific problems. Let's inch our way into a wider, more general area now.
Whenever these little breakups occur, I always find myself on neutral ground, in the corner, way, WAY over there in the corner without a clue as to what's really going on. I once made the analogy to Tanya that I feel like I'm sitting on a surfboard on a choppy ocean without a clue as to what's happening just below the waves. She said I was lucky to be on that surfboard, and perhaps she's correct, but that doesn't make it ANY LESS FRUSTRATING.
I do not like this clockwork cycle of friends turning against friends. It's happened several times before, and if experience is any indicator, it will HAPPEN AGAIN. I don't want it to happen again. These things piss me off. Perhaps I don't have any right to feel this way, being uninvolved as I am, but when I find a group of very good friends slowly dissolving into two groups that just so happen to hate each other, there's not really room for any other sort of emotion.
The only clue I have as to why these things happen, the only thing I have to go on, is hearsay: stories and information from both parties on what happened and who said what and why. I'm always eager to hear about this, because I want to understand what happened, and yet my reaction is always the same. I think Irk is the only person I've ever felt comfortable sharing this reaction with, but it's time to get it out there. As I've said to Irk, now I say unto all of you...
YOU ARE ALL INSANE. YOU ARE CRAZY AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON OR WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING DESPITE PEOPLE TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME TIME AND AGAIN AND SO I RULE THAT YOU ARE ALL INSANE.
This frustrates me and saddens me because, believe it or not, I care.
I feel much better for having said this, because it's hard to just stand quietly by time after time. It bubbles up whenever these fights occur, but at the end of the day I just let it go, because at the end of the day you are all still my friends, even if you're not friends with each other. That's why I don't just throw up my hands and leave at the end. I'd miss this place too much.
This, uh, metaphorical place where all my friends are, even if I don't talk to them as much as I should. Shit. I don't think that's a very good way to end a rant. I'm sort of confused now. Umm...
Pez.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-05 01:02 am (UTC)WELL OF COURSE WE ARE. XD
I adore you Z. You are awesome beyond words. <3
(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-05 06:43 am (UTC)POT KETTLE BLACK, I KNOW!!!
I was going to reply to each and every post here, but I realized that it would be incredibly redundant, because they would all say, "You rock, and I love you (like Pez)."
YOU HEAR THAT, PEOPLE? THAT'S RIGHT, I WENT THERE. I mean with the love bit.