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[thez]

I feel like I've gone five laps around the crazy track.

I have been feeling distinctly Not Bad for almost a half a year now, and in my naivete I assumed I'd contracted the brain cure (opposite of the brain worms). Alas, the wagon train of depression has come around the bend again. To quote the great philosopher t-shirt, "I hate myself and want to die" (not actually with the death part), and I feel this is interfering with my educational goals.

So I putz around and try to pretend things are super, but eventually at the advice of a wise metonymy I travel to the UofA's psychological services department. I assumed that, as was the case at community college, their services were free. I was very very wrong, and I left the office crying, which is my usual mode of action these days and clearly the most logical reaction to even the slightest crisis. $30 a session may be a trifling amount to some people, but I've already spent all the money I had (correction: all the money I didn't have to begin with HELLO DEBT) on trying to fix my physiological problems (current theory: it is asthma that does not respond to asthma medication, super great).

Next step is the community college counseling service (where I'm getting my math credits), which had damn well better be free or else fuckity fuckity fuck.

But the important thing is that I got out of bed this morning and made it through two of three classes without additional crying.

In the mean time, all I've got is crow + kitten = bff therapy. Consider this link my apology for all the personal drama whining.

Comments

[demonlet.livejournal.com]

STOP LISTENING TO COLDPLAY IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED I mean I love the CP but nothing exacerbates a dark mood quite like Chris Martin's falsetto.

But seriously, I am rooting for you and thinking good thoughts. Don't let the assholes deter you from seeking more acceptable counseling. :(

[thez.livejournal.com]

HA HA, I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. I decided that Coldplay would be a good compromise between NIN (DARQUE ANQUST) and The Shins (SUGARY HAPPY). Actually, personal trivia, the last time I was depressed I started listening to a lot of Coldplay on the way to work and it actually cheered me up (because it was their X&Y album and I think it's one of their more optimistic albums).

I'm going to do everyone a favor and stop rambling about CP now.